Woohoo, you’ve moved to NYC! You may have a job, you may not. You may have friends, you may be completely alone and crying into your food as you eat solo every night. You may be having the time of your life, not even remembering who your old friends and family are, or you may be skyping home every few hours. I actually don’t know, and unless I like you, don’t really care tbh. But regardless of any of these things, or my ability to care or not, you WILL need a place to live. A good move is an airbnb for a week or a sublet for a few weeks, while you find your feet and can physically go and look at places. From there, here is some of what you can expect. Disclaimer that you won’t need if you’re a regular reader of the blog, but this is not an exhaustive list, nor is 100% serious advice you can take as gospel. Just 97.3% serious and gospel-like.

The right one can take a while to find
Just like true love, the right apartment can take a while to find (see here, and here, and here). It could be that you can’t go on a lease, so have to jump from sublet to sublet, it might be you want to live in a few different areas to try them out, it might be you hate your housemates and their air purifiers — there are myriad reasons why you might have to move multiple times in your first year. I lived in four different places in my first year of living here, each actually getting progressively better, if that’s any consolation (to me, and maybe to you). You probably won’t have much furniture if you have just shed all your earthly possessions to move here so it won’t be too much of a hassle to move every few months, if that’s also a consolation.

Hope you like those IKEA mock ups of making the most of tiny spaces
Hailing from a farm, and then one of the most spacious cities Aus has to offer (hi Radelaide, you lovely place!), I always thought those IKEA apartment mock ups were a bit extreme. But they are not. They are accurate portrayals of some forms of city living. Have you always wanted to get creative with clothes storage? You’re now without a closest, so here is your chance! Been thinking you probably don’t need so much stuff and if only there was a reason to get rid of it? This small bedroom will force you to! Ever wondered what it’s like to sleep really high off the floor just so you can have some storage under your bed? Get those legs and arms ready for heaving you the 1.5 meters into bed. In all seriousness, you can find big rooms sometimes, and if you can’t, designing your small space to be cute and cozy is kind of fun.

And hope you like paying more than you should for this tiny space.
I mean, everyone knows this one. Rent is ridic in NYC. But it would be remiss of me to not include this point. It would also be remiss of me to point out that you can find semi-affordable rent if you don’t have to live smack bang in the middle of everything, or in the world’s best apartment. But you can still expect to pay 30-50% of your wage on rent, which is like a 400% increase on Adelaide rent, not so much Sydney rent. There’s actually nothing amusing about this paragraph now that I read it back. Sorry. #reality

It’s illegal not to have a window ... but that doesn’t mean you will have a window.
I actually don’t know if it is illegal not to have a window (can anyone help me out here?) but I think it is. And if it’s not, it’s pretty morally wrong and shit anyway. But morals be damned! If we wanna put this extra wall up and make an extra bedroom that wasn’t here before and then rent it out, window or no window, we will do so! Money! Fair chance it will make your room a bit cheaper though, so that’s a bonus. Who needs fresh air and to see the sky anyway?

But if you do have a window, be prepared for noise, no matter which way your window faces.
If you face the street, you will hear it all: trucks moving god-only-knows-what in the middle of the night, people gossiping on their way home from the bar, the electronic music the garbage men play at 6am to make their early starts bearable, the couple across the way arguing, the “youth” having a wonderful old time at 10pm on a Friday night while you prepare for bed like the old person you are.

If you face the courtyard you will still hear it all: people collecting all the recyclables at 6am, girls discussing who their latest date was, the couple from across the way arguing (they’re everywhere), music from your inconsiderate neighbors. You can deal with that last one by knocking on their door with your housemate and pretending you are from separate apartments and it is disrupting you both because you can hear it all over the entire god damn apartment block if you want. Just a suggestion.

All I can say is get a good white noise machine or fan, and a set of earplugs. You’ll be alright I promise.

Finally, no need to bring a fridge.
Sounds odd, and maybe even obvious (but obvious which way? I’m not even sure anymore). It wasn’t until I saw a girl post on the Australians in NYC Facebook group that she was selling her almost-brand new fridge after she had shipped it all the way over here (I mean, I think that action in itself requires more delving into the “why!?” than we have time for) because she didn’t realize that most apartments came with fridges here, that I also realized most apartments came with fridges too. Good thing I hadn’t planned on shipping my fridge also I guess (just kidding, I don’t own anything, least of all an expensive fridge).

Hope you enjoyed this not very useful and completely non-exhaustive list of hints for apartment living in NYC!