A version of this piece was first published in print, in #3 of mous. magazine, available for purchase here.

White allyship: Is it overused? But first, what is it?

Ally. A word often thought of in military terms, but that also refers to a person who helps another in a particular activity. We’ve seen it bandied about more and more often in relation to white people becoming better allies to people of colour. But what does that actually mean? Being an ally is about much more than knowing your history, learning from it (or wanting to learn from it) and supporting movements that help dismantle racism. Being a real ally is about doing. It is about education yes, but then action. Sharing an article on social media, having a heartfelt conversation with a friend or even donating – all are great things. All can help advance a cause or message. But white people often have a hard time going beyond that.  Mous. speaks with three women about the concept of allyship, what it means to them  and advice for anyone who wants to genuinely call themselves an ally.

Merle McGee is a senior manager and educator in New York City with more than 20 years’ experience in the non-profit sector. Her passion for youth is focused on creating non-traditional, liberated educational and leadership spaces through a focus on racial justice and gender equity. Merle was born into racial equity work as a 5th generation African descent person living in the US. 

Do you want to start by giving me your definition of what it means to be a good ally to people of colour?

I think it starts with being a person who recognises that being an ally to any other human being requires humility and accountability. Humility in recognising that you may have something to learn about another person’s perspective that is different to your own, the humility to sit in that place of being a learner.  With the accountability portion, it is definitely driven by what you do with that learning; how are you fundamentally impacted and behaving differently as a result of that learning?

What advice would you give to people wanting to be better allies?

Go help yourself! Check your fragility at the door – don’t worry about what’s happening anywhere else. I think the presumed superiority of being white assumes that one has something useful or meaningful to contribute to communities of colour. We all need to disabuse ourselves of this belief. Commit and fight tirelessly to disrupt and dismantle white supremacy within your own family, your community, and your own spheres of influence to challenge a current narrative that is unproductive or unhealthy within white spaces. Listen to people colour and believe them. Do not make them bear their souls for your entertainment or to prove the impact of racism on their lives. There is never a need to play devil’s advocate about someone’s lived experience. It is diminishing and lacks the empathy required to be a true partner in dismantling white supremacy. 

Why is it important more people sit with their discomfort, and become more accountable?

I think because of where we are today and how far we have come. In a US context in particular, we’ve gone through a pretty horrible racial history and now where we have decided “colour doesn’t matter”. But one’s race is still one of the most significant predictors of life outcomes. What we’ve done so far is not enough, something new needs to happen; a new approach that engages race more honestly and authentically. We are all steeped in the same horrible cess pool of white supremacy and for a ‘good’ white person to distance him/herself from that, and to say “that’s not me, I’m not like that”, doesn’t really speak to the challenge before us of reconciling truth and accountability.

Let’s talk about recognising the structures, systems, and forces at play in people’s lives.

A lot of people want to say, “slavery it was ‘x’ amount of years ago, that was so long ago”. But when you do the math in the US, you have 200 years of slavery, 100 years of segregation, and only 50 years of this so-called “being free”, but with every effort and attempt to roll back the civil protections that are meant to come with being free. I am frustrated by the lack of reason applied to this argument.

Let’s talk about the benefits white folks have accumulated over those last 300 years. I think white folks cannot acknowledge the handouts and hand-ups received because it’s counter to the superiority narrative. Folks are left to ponder “if I acknowledge all of the privileges that have been handed to me what does that say about my actual ability?” Think of all of the ways in which the system is rigged against people of colour to not be successful and all of the hoops and pitfalls and barbed wires and holes in the ground. I think that’s what is most frustrating to me. You’ll hear conversations about “well I’ve had a difficult life” – I am not talking about personal difficulties, I am talking about systems and societal structures that are designed to help white folks and actively harm people of colour.

Ebony Allen is a proud Aboriginal woman from New South Wales. She is an ex-lawyer and writer who is passionate about social justice and empowering Indigenous voices, people and communities.

What does it mean for a white person to be a good ally to people of colour, in general or from an Indigenous Australian perspective?

I really struggle with answering this question because I feel like the term ally has been overused and at times, abused, primarily by white people who seek to centre themselves in our narratives. If I move away from my dislike of the term and all the negativity that I associate with the idea of ‘allyship’, I think the best way you can be a good ally for us is to listen, to humble yourself, to be open to everything you hear – especially the things that make you feel uncomfortable – and to help where we want you to help in ways that we request. The people who inspire me do things without want of praise or validation; they help where help is needed all the while seeking to centre and empower Indigenous people.

 What does white privilege mean to you in an Australian context?

White privilege in Australia means so many things. At a base level, it means benefitting from the attempted degradation and destruction of the world’s oldest continuing culture and its peoples. It is having your success as a non-Indigenous person predicated on stolen land and concurrent colonialism. White Australia is the dominant narrative in this country. To be white is to be normal whereby othering everyone else including this nation’s first peoples. On a day to day level, it is living with the benefits of a sophisticated first world society that is set up to afford you success. You are treated with a level of dignity and respect that creates the illusion that this country isn’t racist and that any problem, no matter how big or small, can be overcome with enough gumption and hard work.

 What are some of the structures in place in Australia that benefit white people?

I feel like everything in Australia is structurally geared towards creating benefit for white people. Even measures that have been created to ‘assist’ or ‘empower’ non-white people have a dividend that inevitably white people benefit from. A (cynical) example of this is the existence of corporate social responsibility. We are made to believe that big business cares about Indigenous people but if you look at the alignments between corporate strategies and partnerships you can see there is a very clear business case for contributing or participating in this space.

Often the thought of white privilege can make a lot of white people uncomfortable, why is it important that more people sit with their discomfort, become more accountable, and think about this more?

If people are genuine about creating real change in this country, it has to occur. I would like to lie and say I feel bad about the idea of white people feeling uncomfortable about the state of racism and race related privilege in this country, but I don’t feel that way. The road that you travel on as someone with lesser privilege is hard and infinitely more emotionally taxing. I don’t want people to feel guilty but to recognise that everyone plays a role in either maintaining or challenging the status quo.

Do you have any advice for white people wanting to begin their own journey of looking at privilege and wanting to undo racism? What would you tell them to do or seek out, or ask of themselves?

In short, put in work, listen and learn. We live in a world where information on almost every topic is accessible via the internet. Don’t expect people, particularly those from a position of lower privilege to educate you. Get on google, seek out resources created by individuals from that group and recognise that while you may be able to learn bits and pieces, you will never learn it all.

Stella Billings works in non-profit human services in New York City, NY, where she integrates anti-racist practice into organisational culture and systems. As a white woman raised in an anti-racist community with many strong mentors, Stella strives to learn, un-learn, and re-learn assumptions and approaches to anti-racist white organising, be it at home, in her neighborhood, or in major institutions and systems.

It seems there has been a spike in white outrage lately. Why do you think this is, and why is it important?

I know that a lot of white people are really activated because of what is going on in our country (in the U.S.) and I think that’s good, although I also think that it’s a time we need to be really careful. You can be shocked and hurt and disappointed but you probably shouldn’t be surprised. If we were surprised, let’s look at why we were surprised. Were we surprised because we never had to look at the racial dynamics in this country, were we surprised because we always got to turn that off when we went home for thanksgiving dinner, were we surprised because we always got to make choices about where we would live, the school systems, what kind of neighborhoods we would have, without thinking of our whiteness in that way?

This is an important moment for us to deepen our racial consciousness. In this political era, I really think that white people’s job is to show up and to organise other white people, and that’s a place of discomfort for a lot of people.

What does white allyship mean to you, or what does being a good ally mean to you?

I often try and ground it in the question “what exactly is my stake in confronting racism and looking at ideas of race and racism?” For the most part I think of myself as a white person who is really invested in the struggle against racism in a way that comes from a deeply personal place.

One of the things that is really key to being a white person in this, is being a person who names issues of race and racism on the table all the time. We tend to be quiet, to wait around for people of colour to be the people to bring it up, or sort of protect ourselves and say “well, in that particular meeting it just didn’t seem right or I felt a little uncomfortable”. But if there are issues of race and racism in your community, or in schools, or institutions, or in families, it’s up to white people to make sure that these issues are talked about. We need to take risks. I personally always want to be the person who takes a little bit more risk, who puts a little bit more of myself out there.

What can people do to be better allies?

I’d say it’s some of the stuff I’ve already touched on: it’s naming things, it’s taking those risks and putting yourself out there. Not as the leader of initiatives, but as a person who is able to bring things to the table where otherwise it would hurt people to. Really show up and be present.

One of the easiest things that my privilege as a white person gives me is the ability to turn it off if I want to. You have to keep showing up, you have to stay in this work. You have to be able to carry a lot of this burden in ways that are particular to white people because we know that people of color and other marginalised people are carrying so much and have been for the entire history of doing the work. You will need to sit with a lot of discomfort. You are not always going to like whatever is being presented to you, you are not always going to feel safe, you might feel like “well hey that’s not what I meant”, or you have some of that fragility or that defensiveness come up; the most important thing people can do is stay present through the push of discomfort.

Talking to other white people, via things like affinity groups is also really effective. It’s a balance of figuring out where your voice can be most impactful in the service of supporting people of colour led movements for change. Other people who have been doing this for many decades, like the people of colour in the room talking about racial oppression are studying the impressionists, and you’re over here, trying to name your colours! But that’s OK, because that’s where you need to be and it’s a good place to start.