The other day I was having a discussion about couples, and how much time they have to spend with each other, especially in a city like New York. 

 

My conversational buddy said, "In a city like New York, if the person you are dating has even one seventh of their time to give to you, you're doing pretty well. Everyone is busy, something has to give." It struck me how true this was, and vice versa I suppose, seeing that I would say I'm just as important as anyone I'm dating and they'd be bloody lucky to see me one seventh of the time at the moment. Did I mention I'm single? And obviously very generous and flexible with my time. A catch. 

 

Anyway, I digress. It's true, of the few couples I know here, they don't spend huge swathes of their time together, instead prioritizing their busy lives over their partner. I'm not here to say whether that's wrong or right (except for the part where I think I have already given my stance on the sitcho, cough cough).  But it does surprise me how unbelievably busy everyone is here. 

 

Obviously it is the city that never sleeps blah, blah, blah, so you have to expect that people will be pretty busy, what with that never sleeping and all. But even for a person like me, who until six months ago, NEEDED at least two weeknights and half the weekend at home by myself, all of a sudden I find myself being so, so busy. 

 

"Let's catch up after the weekend when I'm back," said one friend. "Can't, I'm busy all week, how bout the next?" I replied.

 

"Let's try and catch up during the week, I haven't seen you in ages," said a guy trying to organize our fourth date. "Umm yeah we can try, but I am busy all week - maybe the weekend?" is my reaction. 

 

"Oh my god, us three have not seen each other in ages! What are you all doing Wednesday. Not this Wednesday, but the next?" is a fairly standard convo with my two favs. 

 

You get the picture. 

 

Granted, the Aussie in New York network is strong, and that accounts for a big chunk of my busy-ness. But there is something else. Maybe an obligation to be busy? Like being busy means that I matter. Or worst, that I exist at the very least. If I'm in demand, surely I'm something or someone. 

 

"What have you been up to?" or "How was your weekend?" are scary questions (second only to "What are your hobbies" - don't even get me started on the sheer fear that strikes in my heart). No-one wants to answer them with, "Umm not much actually. Yep, haven't been doing a real lot of anything." *crickets* Yep a real conversation killer. 

 

But it turns out it's not just me. One of my friends apologized to a guy on tinder for being so lax with her reply. "No apologies please!" was his reply. "We live in NY... If we weren't busy, we'd be doing something wrong!"

 

Something wrong? 

 

Does being busy mean you are important? Does it mean you are interesting? Far from it. But I guess it does go a long way to covering it up if you aren't interesting. At least if you aren't interesting, what you have been busy doing might be. (note to self: only choose interesting things to be busy with). 

 

But still I continue down the busy path, because life. I wonder if winter will change anything, give me a legitimate excuse to not be so busy. I can see it now: 

 

"No, I haven't been up to anything, it's too cold. I've been at home with my Netflix*. But it's winter, and everyone is doing it, so don't judge me or think I'm boring pls."